Capture The Flag Pilot Script
The script for the pilot "episode" that I wish I could animate
(Screen focuses on two bases, Red and Blue)
Narrator: Long long time ago, there were two teams, Red and Blue. Red team stole blue's flag and Blue team stole red's flag. They hated each other. Each team had six members
(Screen then goes to Blue Team's base)
Nerco: We need a plan to get our flag back guys.
Elf: Nerco, we ALREADY fucking know! We been at war for seventeen years!!
Nerco: Some of us weren't present you fucknut.
Soldier: C'mon guys, no need to fight.
Nerco & Elf: SHUT UP SOLDIER!
Chemist: Remember guys, I can fucking kill you both right now. (Chemist smiles like a crazy person)
Elf: Oh right.. (Face looks worried)
(Screen then goes to Red Team's base)
Dwarf: Fuck every one of you!
Pyro: COME ON DWARF, I JUST KICKED YOUR ASS IN CANDY LAND!
Dwarf: It's not about that!
Pyro What is it about then?
Dwarf: JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF, I HOPE YOU DIE FIRST!
Pyro: (says quietly) autistic little fuck.
Dwarf: MAGE COME HERE NOW
(Mage starts running to Dwarf)
Mage: What do you want, my diamond?
Dwarf: I want you to freeze Pyro.
Mage: But hes fire.. he can melt right out of it..
Dwarf: Do it for the vine you fuck!
Mage: Pyro, please don't hate me after this..
Pyro: You fucking traitors!
(Mage freezes Pyro)
Pyro: (in his final breath) THIS IS UNFAIR YOU FUCKS, HE STARTED IT!
(Mage cries a little)
Dwarf: Wow Mage! Your actually useful for once!
(Screen goes back to Blue team)
Nerco: Elf.. I love you so fucking much.. Let's fuck.
Elf: Baby, let's do it!
Soldier: Not so fast kids! Wanna have sex? Do it outside.
Nerco: Oh fuck you soldier! Why you always act like Captain America?
Elf: Nerco, let's do it infront of it!
Nerco: Whatever you want, babe.
(Nerco and Elf start laying down on eachother)
Nerco: Oh yeah OH YEAH OHH
Elf: I LOVE YOU BABE
Soldier: MEDIC! MEDIC HELP MY EYES
Ninja: What's going on here!?!?
Soldier: OH FUCKING SHIT, PLEASE GET THE MEDIC PLEASE. OH FUCKING SHIT!
(Ninja runs to get the Medic)
Ninja: Soldier needs you!
Medic: That fuck? Ten times in the same week?!?!
Ninja: Yeah.. Nerco and Elf are having sex infront of him
Medic: Eh, that doesn't explain anything, but okay.
(Medic and Ninja runs back to Soldier)
Soldier: MEDIC PLEASE HEAL MY EYES OH GOD OH.
Medic: This will be fun!
(Medic stabs Soldier, healing him)
(Soldier falls into the lava pit)
Soldier: (Sleepy voice) I hope you fucking die Medic..
Medic: Should I save him?
(Medic thinks about it)
Medic: Nah fuck him
(Screen goes back to Red Team)
Assassin: (Battling Ninja) BROTHER! WE DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT OVER A SILLY FLAG!
Ninja: Oh yeah? Dad made me this flag!
Assassin: I don't wanna kill you..
Ninja: Well I do!
Assassin: Ninja.. please. (starts crying)
Ninja: You always were weak.
(Assassin starts to get his guns/bows/swords out)
Ninja: Fuck this fucking fuck fuckity fucking shit..
Assassin: I was always powerful.. but I won't hurt you!
Ninja: (quietly) Oh thank the gods.
Assassin: I will just stab you!
Ninja: (quietly) Oh fuck you god (sad face)
(Assassin stabs Ninja)
Ninja: OWWWW! OH MY GOD, WHERE IS MEDIC WHEN YOU NEED HER?
(Ninja runs to Blue Base, but Assassin shoots his leg)
Assassin: I love you brother, but this is MY FLAG!
Ninja: Sad that dad never loved you?
Assassin: SHUT IT!
Ninja: Not my fault dad left because of you!
(Assassin shoots Ninja to death, but Ninja teleports away)
Assassin: I'm coming for you Ninja.. even if its the last thing I do!